My mystical journey began in April of 2006, after several years of intense Bible studies. I also went to Disney World in February that year and on the plane headed for Disney, I was reading a book called The Disappearance of the Universe by Gary Renard. He said that going to a theme park was one way to change one’s view of reality. The synchronicity of this event struck me. I had bought a CD of Japanese drumming music at Epcot and one night, after my husband had gone away on a trip and left me at home alone with my 7 year old son, I danced nude in front of my mirror and went into a trance.

This was my first episode that landed me in the psychiatric ward and after one more episode in October 2006 I was put on lithium and Seroquel. After three years on these drugs, during which I experienced fibromyalgia-like symptoms, headaches, and severe anxiety, I contracted the swine flu and because I was dehydrated I became poisoned by the lithium. I developed severe vertigo and slurred speech and was in the hospital for a week. I had to decrease the lithium dosage and spent several weeks with a walker and then several months using a cane. I felt as if I had aged 20 years. I used lecithin supplements and St. Johnswort oil infusion to heal my nerves so that I could once again drive a car and I also did my own speech therapy, using a video.

After another episode in July 2010 I was put on Abilify and Zyprexa, with Seroquel. I could not stand the agitation created by taking Abilify. I beseeched the help of an herbalist and psychotherapist friend who said I was not bipolar and that I was going through a spiritual emergency. I dropped the psychiatrist and the drugs and turned to alternative methods of healing, including dream therapy. Eventually I went through a transformation that led me to a more peaceful life. I have come out of the closet as a shaman and have written a book about my experience.