In 2005 I began to wake up. All the years before I was aware. Even vigilant to a “NOW” I thought was just kind of happening. But no.

In 2005, august 8th, I caused my self to be committed to the state hospital. For three years. I saw that there was a wide field of view I was not letting my self see. Not letting is a bit harsh. But still the tension and holding on to it…Then I saw and started to practice
the breathing, catching thought’s before building an emotion from it and tensing up, not accusing but excusing. All near impossible as I started.

While in the hospital I made the decision to try with everything I had. I joined the resident’s counsel, worked in a shop to save, began a self-help method program and put in place (with the hospital admin) the opportunity to come back to the hospital, as a volunteer, after I got out.

I did just that…began volunteering at the hospital. First just helping out where needed. Then, after some training sessions, I began facilitating Recovery International’s self-help method one day a week. After just a few months it was increased to twice a week. And now, three days a week, Recovery International’s method is facilitated at the hospital.  It has been very difficult keeping it all going – especially the home part – keeping up with rent, laundry, food, phone, car, insurance. But it’s getting done. Sure I’ve messed up a couple of times so far, but it’s getting done, and not by just me. Without my friends, doctor, good food and rest…it’s like DAA! Too simple? Yeah, it is that simple. Simple to say, not so simple to do.

I have received help from the state also through the Local Advisory Counsels (LAC) which helps us peers to determine services that work and those that don’t. I am now Chairperson to our tri-county L.A.C.. Also, there are a few peer-run, non-profits that give in a big way. I am on the board of directors and chair the membership committee for Montana’s Peer Network (M.P.N.). We work to get peers certified as peer specialists, first aid responders, C.I.T. Intervention and W.R.A.P., Wellness Recovery Action Planning facilitators.

Recovery International’s self-help method saved my life, literally. In the near four years since being born again I have received so much more than I’ve given that I am forever in their debt. So, I have devoted my life to this cause and the layers within it.

It really does come down to the right diet, rest and being informed. Yes, set backs come. But with that combination going for you a set back that was a huge mountain becomes just a speed bump saying, “Slow down!”.”Take a breath!’.”Relax!”